I was not worthless
13 year old female
So in October last year I had a falling out with my mum - probably not the best idea. I self-harmed and landed myself in a place called CAMHS, Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services.
This was all over me and my mum fighting and a boy. A boy - like seriously, I let someone get to me that much? I felt that I needed to harm myself for the emotional pain to be numbed.
It took me awhile to adapt to things there but I met new friends and shared my story with them and they told me I had to stay strong. At the time I felt like I couldn't, like it was one thing that was impossible right now. But I did it. It took alot of time and patience but I learnt how to stay strong.
I have been seeing counsellors all my life and they have helped with alot of things, but sometimes it seemed like it just wasn't enough. There were multiple occasions where I couldn't get a hold of a counsellor so I turned to the Kids Helpline and they really did help me alot.
At first I wasn't too keen on speaking to just what seemed to be some random on the other end of the phone line but she was really kind, caring and made me feel wanted. At the time I was living with my nanna because things weren't going well at home. I was just having a break before I called. I was on the verge of self-harming. I needed a different way of escape. I didn't need any more scars even though I felt I needed to punish myself and I thought to myself I might as well give this helpline a shot.
My counsellor told me things were going to get better but I needed to keep trying, that I couldn't give up on life. I felt unwanted at the time, I felt worthless like I wasn't meant to be here, but after speaking to her she assured me that I WAS NOT worthless.
If you EVER feel like this, call up and talk to someone. It does help. Just remember you're beautiful each and every one of you reading this. Do me a favour, put your hand on your chest, feel your heart beating. Yeah it's called purpose.
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