I hated how I was feeling
17 year old female
I have realised that I am not the only one who has been through a lot. It is such a great feeling, to know that I have accomplished a lot, tried hard to be where I am now. I would like to thank a counsellor that talked to me for over a year, through email, web counselling and a couple of phone calls. I would also like to thank another counsellor, who I was referred to when my previous counsellor got promoted. They helped me a lot, even if I needed to talk about something small or something that was bothering me.
I don't particularly know where it all started, but I knew I hated how I was feeling, which was on a daily basis. I was being bullied by the people that were supposed to be my friends, put down and excluded from groups. There were always family conflicts, between my sisters and my mum. My boyfriend at the time didn't seem to care, called me names and made me change my clothes. At school I couldn't function, I was failing subjects and not even attempting to do any school work. I was tired and exhausted because I never seemed to sleep well. I did not feel very pretty, I didn't fit in anywhere, so I felt left out, and I guess I cracked.
I was self harming, I needed help. I was sent to the doctors by a youth worker and then put on anti depressants. I hated feeling low, I hated the way I looked, I felt alone and helpless. I hated my life, I actually didn't care if I died or not. I was self harming, a lot. It made me feel like a bad person. It was a stupid coping style, but somehow it made me feel better for a minute and then it didn't. After seeing the youth worker, seeing a psychologist, school counsellor, metal health worker and a doctor. Things seemed a lot more positive. So, today, I have so much more confidence in myself, so much more courage and I want to thank everyone who helped me.
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